Available all the time, just send me an email and I will get back to you.

Women Vs Men on personal safety

It is a well-known fact that woman has to be extra careful when they are traveling alone because any number of things can happen to them as most offenders in crimes such as rape are male perpetrated. Before I get everyone jumping down my throat, I know men are victims of rape as well and it is highly under-reported because of the times, however, men are more likely to fight back against their attackers with a higher probability of winning than a typical woman.

The difference between men and woman can be seen as night and day. I will use my ex as a prime example. My ex is a 6″ something giant with big muscles. When he traveled on his own this would be what he did.

Put on headphones and listen to music and ignore the world.

When he got off the bus to go home he would walk to the gate before he even gets his keys out.

Whereas me, when I am traveling this, is what I do.

  1. When I leave work I look 360 degrees at all time. I don’t put my headphones in till I am on the tube.
  2. When I get off the tube I make sure I get the bus when I am able to so that I don’t have to go up any side streets.
  3. Before I get off the bus my keys are in my hand. This is so that if someone attacks me I have something that can do some damage to hope that I can get away. Also, it means that at the entrance gate to my estate I don’t have to worry about being jumped whilst looking for my keys.
  4. When walking on the streets if I see any shadows or hear something or see something that makes me concerned I wait for people to pass me or duck into a shop.
  5. If I am on my own in the flat as soon as I get in I lock the front door.

The difference is night and day. We should not be in a world where this is the way Women have to travel.

With this in mind, anyone in North London please look after yourself with the rapist on the loose. Look after yourself, avoid travelling alone and if that is not possible set up some support network so people know where you are likely to be in the event of an emergency.


Gender inequality -> the side you don’t hear!

As today is International Men’s day and after hearing some amazing things at work, I feel this post has to be done.

Note to all hardcore feminists out there: I have been shouted at and already had some nasty things said to be for this point of view but guess what, I don’t care because honestly, it is the truth.

Though yes, women do have some rough times which we have had to fight for what we have including the right to vote, to an education, to work and even to be able to get divorced there is one key thing that kills me… Gender equality also affects men, so why are their issues not brought to the table like women are?

When a woman is raped she has lots of sympathies thrown her way. She is supported by many organisations to help with the trauma she has been through and guided through the process of putting their attackers behind bars. But what about men?

Men, both gay and straight, can be raped or suffer vicious attacks. So to can transgender and nonbinary people.

“According to a 2017 crime survey by the ONS, in 2017 alone there were around 138,000 reports of sexual assaults against men that year.”

Can you imagine 138000 men being raped? If you read the article fully it also says this may be an underestimation because men are too afraid to come forward. How can we live in a world where there are people out there who have been victims of rape who are more scared of reporting then they are off living their lives. This is something that cant go on.

Don’t get me wrong, women have a very bad time when it comes to Rape as people can say, “well she was asking for it” or  “she led him on”. This is also known as victim shaming. However, if a gay man is raped, I know from someone who has not given me permission to use his name, was told, “how can you be raped by another man, your GAY?” The other misconception that is out there is that men can’t be raped because they are the ones who penetrate or clearly get aroused. I will tell you what I say to everyone, JUST BECAUSE YOU CLIMAX DOESNT MEAN YOU WERE NOT RAPED. SEX WITH NO CONSENT NO MATTER YOUR GENDER, SEXUALITY, RELIGION OR LIVING SITUATION IS RAPE!!!!!!

People are so used to the idea that men are the perpetrators of violence that there is no way they can be a victim. in 2009 only 13% of men who were victims of domestic abuse reported it. Can you imagine what those brave 13% must have felt like reporting? The shame they may have been feeling because of the outside world men are not the victims but they are perpetrators. A woman can go to a police station and say my husband is hitting me, and don’t get me wrong Domestic abuse whether the victim is male or female is wrong, yet people are more inclined to believe a woman than a man.

But why is this the case? Men who become victims are the men that we women should really prefer to have. They do not hit women, even if they are concerned about something so there are women out there that have taken advantage of this and seen it as weakness. Abuse of power in its truest form.

When a man hits a woman it’s terrible but when a woman abuses a man its laughable? talk about gender inequality and double standards. This world has made it so hard for men to come forward.

“In 2017, 4,382 men took their own lives, an average of 12 per day”

Suicide is not solely caused by someone being a victim of something, however, how many men out of the 12 per day may have been a victim of a crime? You honestly can’t say that it is solely due to mental health because if it was, I would say we have a health crisis on our hands! Let us be real here. An Average of 12 men per day took their own lives last year and yet gender equality seems only to cover female gender equality. This has to stop!

True Gender Equality can never EVER become a real possibility until both sides are equally represented it just can’t.

Now, this is a call out to all men and women alike, I am a survivor of Physical, Mental and sexual abuse. I know how hard it is to disclose and for certain things, there are people I can’t disclose to because of my history. I will however say, do not go it alone, I did for a long time and it did me no good. I had to figure out what I was going to do and had to do the hard work yourself. If you are being victimised please reach out to someone and disclose where you can. Even if you just ask for someone who is anonymous to help you find out your support please reach out. Even if you just reach out to me in a comment and ask me for my email address (it doesnt even have to be on this post to hide why, I will do what I can) Men you do not have to suffer alone in the darkness.