IM DESPERATE FOR HELP

Once again I am asking the world for help. It is really not nice for me asking for help because honestly, I am usually the one giving it. So here is why you should help me on gofundme by either donating or sharing my link.

Why I need the money:

I need to move to keep myself safe from an ex who was and if allowed to continue to be emotionally abusive. He is a man who continued to treat me as something he could pick up and drop at the flip of a coin. He messed with my head so much that even now I struggle to believe I am worth someone good. I can’t change where I work but I can change where I live and this money would go towards helping me move somewhere safe and still be able to afford to get to work etc.

Why Should you help me:

I am a good person. You may think yea yea we hear this a lot but I am.

Even though I could, I work despite my disabilities and mentor people who have the same disabilities as me so that they can be confident to work as well.

I started my own campaign to make sure men and women who serve and protect communities, cities, and countries know that they are appreciated for all they do.

I volunteer with a military charity and write to active service men and women who are stationed away from home to help keep their morale up.

I help anyone in need. Recently been supporting a neighbor who has been going through hell with someone who was causing her serious stress and putting her in danger. I helped someone else out of a bad domestic abuse situation including making sure she was safe when she didn’t feel it.

I have never asked for praise for anything I do because I don’t do it for praise but for the fact that I want to make the world a nicer place to live.

So what now?

Please donate to my go fund me page: https://www.gofundme.com/4t77nm-my-first-home I really need your help. If you can’t afford to donate, please share my link. I am getting desperate. I need to move.

I am an Autistic with dyslexia, depression and spinal problems living in a situation where I want to cry almost daily and jump at any noise I hear when traveling. Please help me.

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Safe Space – Can you help me get mine

Hi,

I really hate to ask. I need help to move. I have an ex-boyfriend who knows where I live and would really like to make sure he can’t find me. It has taken me a very long time to realize and understand that his behavior that he had towards me was abuse. It was emotional abuse. He played on my heart and he played on my emotions to get what he wanted and then when he got it he hurt me again and again.  He would try to break up my good relationships and caused me even more stress and emotional and mental pain again and again.

I had warnings again and again, however, as many abuse victims will say, it was something that I wasn’t ready to hear. I wasn’t ready to accept that this wasn’t right and because of it, I went back again and again.

So now I am in a situation where I have done everything I can do to get myself sorted however, the one thing that I cant do is move. I need help. I need help to get away so that this ex, if he came to try again, he would not be able to know where I live and therefore would not be able to start his mind games again. I know this is a what if situation but as all abuse survivors know, you need to protect yourself.

So if anyone is able to help me: I have the money and based on my salary, I am able to rent a place but because of where I would need to move to make it safe enough for me to feel safe, I need help with travel costs. If you can donate https://www.gofundme.com/4t77nm-my-first-home that would be fantastic. Even if you could just share the link to make sure that as many people can see it as possible that would be also very helpful.

Thank you for listening.

Concerned

I really need to move house. I need help to get myself somewhere I can afford. I have an ex who is currently pestering me. I have changed my mobile number, I have had to change my facebook account and am seriously contemplating canceling all of my social media accounts. This ex knows where I live and I don’t want to risk him randomly turning up to my front door.

He is not abusive but he brings a lot of emotional crap. I need help. I can afford rent, I can afford to live but I need help to get the transport to and from work. Please help me: https://www.gofundme.com/4t77nm-my-first-home there is nothing legally I can do because all he has done is given me some seriously unwanted attention but I need to be somewhere that I do not worry if he will get posted back to London and turn back up at my front door

Autism and work

There is only a small amount of people who are Autistic and work. I am one of them.

I use work as an escape from family. If I didn’t work honestly I think that I would revert to something really low.

I need to get my own place but I need help. Two weeks holiday from work and I know I am struggling from day 1. If anyone can help me not only have a small reprieve from the hell I live in with work but a permanent one, please visit: https://www.gofundme.com/6jvfv8-i-need-help

Its Hard When people dont understand you

So this Christmas, my family have been on top form. I am sure they dont believe that I am Autistic.

My mother, who has been told, that my issues with food is to do with the texture of it which is linked to my autism decided to completely forget the special food we picked out for Christmas for me and then said that I was “just being difficult”. When my dad asked me if he could have some of my wine and got the answer “no”, my brother told me I shouldnt be such a “rude Bitch”. I tried to explain that he asked me if he could have my wine, not why he could not have my wine and that those kind of questions are not easy for me to answer latterally… Just ask the judge in my benefit appeal who asked me “what would you do if you needed to get some milk?” I said that I would not go out. The judge then asked “why would you not go out for milk” and my response was, “I dont drink milk”. To me that was a logical answer to the question.

We went to my nans and my mum brought food with us that she knew I could eat. She said nothing about it until we got there, stood up in the middle of the room and said “I brought these because I know my daughter is difficult”.

My mum planned to change my routine around without telling me and when i questioned them on it I got introuble because my nephew heard me ask why we were not having pizza as it was pizza night. I spent the rest of the day in my room upset because I didnt understand why I was in trouble for questioning why my routine was being changed.

I have had to set up an anonymous gofundme page because I got in trouble for my last one (family found it)

I need help to get away from these people 😦 if you can help or know someone who can help please share my page. Please help me. I dont want to be living here by this time next year 😦

https://www.gofundme.com/6jvfv8-i-need-help

 

Frustrated

I am frustrated with the social housing situation in the UK. When people who are allowed to abuse the social housing situation in this country. There are, however, people like me who are struggling to get a place of their own, barely able to afford private rented and is not allowed to get social housing. With medical issues and problems within this estate and yet I get screwed over. Now I am stuck in a living situation which is detrimental to my wellbeing and I am not allowed help.

I am now stuck having to go through crowdfunding in the hopes that I will be able to get anything to help me, even if it is just enough to put into savings to help me.

If anyone can help, I am at my wit’s end. https://bit.ly/2ValjRf

Abuse, Fear, Trust and Anger

Due to some really hateful things that were said to me about my videos I have decided not to do them anymore.

So today I am going to talk about surviving abuse, fear, trust, and Anger. You might all think that fear trust and anger go part and parcel of fear, trust, and anger and that I will be making the same point repeatedly. In some cases it is true, they are linked but I am also going to talk about how they are different.

So let’s start with fear. Most people think fight or flight when they think about fear, some may even think about the freezing aspect. When you are a survivor of abuse, however, there is a 4 option and that is submission. When you start getting abused you deal with fight or flight or freeze but when it is prolonged like it has been for me you get into this state of submission. You stop fighting because that is the only way to survive. Flight, especially in some cases, is not possible and you certainly have not frozen. You choose to survive and that involves submission. It is not you giving in, it is you choosing to survive.

Whether it is verbal, emotional, physical or sexual you find yourself submitting to stay alive. You might think that verbal and emotional is easy to get away from because there is no one assaulting your body but it is just as hurtful as physical or sexual and is harder to identify. The reason for this is because there are no visible scars and so your abusers can shrug off the effects that they have caused you to others as, “their acting out” or that “they are lying”. This happened to me with the people my parents brought into our house. Their kids would sexually abuse me and when I would not do what they wanted they made me out to be this monster… Soon over time, no one believed anything I said so I had to submit in order to survive. I would, however, do what I could to keep my distance. I would try and force myself into school with a fever so that they would not be called to look after me while my parents were at work… The downside to this, however, is that my mum was an ex-nurse so she knew when I had to stay home from school. I would then get so clingy to my parents but still left with them. So submission was my only way to survive.

Trust is the next thing I want to talk to you about. It is a wonderful thing, however, victims of abuse never have that luxury. Whether it was my parents physically abusing me, family friends sexually abusing me or siblings emotionally abusing me, I learned that I could not trust anyone. This has followed me into my adult life and because of this, I have very few people that I would consider a friend. I just do not make friends easily and as such I find it hard to trust what peoples intentions are. This is because of the trust that I put in people who were supposed to protect me growing up ad they did not. You may think it is something to get over, but when you have lost trust in people you should not have lost trust in then it becomes very much so, a part of who you are. It informs your developing mind and makes it harder for you to trust anyone.

Anger for me is a very difficult one to deal with. I find that due to my history there are certain situations that bring real anger out of me. On a night out some guys tried to pull a friend down a dark alley and I nearly got myself arrested with my angry outburst. This is not something that is easy to fix. This is, especially in my situation where I still have to live with the people who caused a lot of problems for me growing up almost an impossible task. Honestly, though it is not the anger over what they did and allowed to happen to me that gets me angry anymore, it is the fact that I am stuck now due to people being unable and unwilling to help me.

Now finally onto the Abuse. NO ABUSE IS ACCEPTABLE. We, however, as a society, need to find a way to help people in a seriously complex situation out. There are people like me out there who cant access help because their situations are so complex that it does not fit into any one category. For people like me the only way out if to get help from someone and when no one is willing to listen or help, you feel alone and remain once again STUCK! Many survivors of abuse play it’s my fault game but how can a 6-year-old, being forced to learn what a 69ner is really been at fault? This has rocked my faith, my self-confidence, every relationship I have ever had and now when I am finally able to say I need help the authorities are putting me in a situation where I can’t get help because I am unable to report it for fear of both myself and someone else….

I am hoping someone out there with me being open and honest about my story will help me. Please see my Gofundme page entitled help me survive.  https://t.co/27kabyJJdN

The money is going to be used in the following ways:

  1. clear off all debts so that I can start off clean
  2. find somewhere to live that is suitable for my needs as well as financially viable
  3. Pay a few months in advance so if needed I can get benefits
  4. Change my name so my abusers will no longer be able to find me and I can cut ties with them completely.
  5. kit out my new place with the things I need to heal and grow stronger in myself.

If you can help me please please donate or even share with others.. I need help and no one is able to help me.