suzefricker@mylifeaccordingtome.org Available all the time, just send me an email and I will get back to you.

Living with someone with Dementia

Dementia is a very hard thing to be living with. Both for the person who has it and those who care for them.

My dad has vascular dementia which made his personality do a complete 180. It is hard for me to watch at times because he says and does things that before he had dementia he would never do. My mum tried to get him to do his physio that he was given and she was told: “I think we should get a divorce”. Him not knowing or understanding that no solicitor would take him on with his advanced dementia.

We had a period of time when he was falling all of the time. One night we had to call an ambulance out because he could not get up and there he was lying on the floor with his pants around his ankles as well as his trousers. Not a man wants his daughter to see him like that. He can’t even remember how to get into a car.

My father slips away in front of my very eyes and I just wonder why God would create an illness like this. I don’t understand why this kind of suffering is allowed. I am a firm believer that Euthanasia should not be an option but honestly, this sometimes shakes my beliefs. I see a man who is proud and has done so much for his community church, a talented musician fade away and is slowly being stripped of his dignity by this illness and it makes me wish at times that this was an option. Is that bad of me?

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Let’s Talk About Dementia

Dementia is a vile, evil ilness which is known as the Long Goodbye. It is something that takes you away piece by piece until there is nothing left except a shell waiting to die.

My father also has dementia. 

Over the last few years, I have seen this vile illness strip away pieces of my dad. He went from being an unhealthy person who went out, met people and enjoyed music to someone who it is a struggle to even get out of bed in the morning. A huge turning point for us was when he lost his drivers license. That was a lifeline for him and it was taken away.

It’s not all doom and gloom though. Last night I got to see my dad do something I hadn’t seen him do in years. That is, pick up a guitar. Now you may think that this is something minor however, my dad is a musical man. He could have gone all the way. The man could recite songs on his guitar without music or anything else. He was a musical genius. But with the illness, he doesn’t play anymore. So to see him pick up a guitar honestly I felt like crying tears of joy. The glee in his eyes and the joy in my hear made me want to cry my eyes out. I did manage to hold it in till I was not with him but honestly cried like a baby.

So enjoy the time you have with the loved ones you have because honestly this illness can break your heart x