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Prayer for Uniformed Services in Sri Lanka

Dear Lord

I ask that you look over the Sri Lankan Police, Fire Service, Military, Doctors, and Nurses as they deal with the fallout from the explosions that have happened. Lord, you know that they are facing some seriously horrific images and they will not be able to save everyone. Lord you know they put on their uniforms so those who cant serve are kept safe and well.

Lord, I ask you to bring them peace in the coming days. Let them know that they are loved and respected for all that they do for others. Be with the survivors who are there and give them peace.

In your name I pray.



God Never Gives you more than you can handle

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” 1 CORINTHIANS 10:13

This is something that as a Christian who has lived the life I have led that I have seriously struggled with. I often have felt during periods of my life that God has expected far too much of me and wondered why he throws these things in my path.

To give you an idea, this is what I have survived during my life;

  1. Cancer Scare
  2. abuse – mental
  3. abuse physical
  4. abuse sexual
  5. attempted rape
  6. loss on a large scale
  7. undiagnosis of autism
  8. undiagnosis of dyslexia

But I have always come through. I have become stronger then I have ever been. Now, I am able to focus on what matters to me.

It is when I stopped arguing with God and demanding to know why he was so vindictive I have been able to accept that I am a strong person.

God is there for you if you let him.

What Easter Means to Me

Ok, aside from the fact that you get chocolate on Easter it means a lot to me.

So, let me break it down for you. Lent is the period of time where Jesus went into the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights. He did not eat and was tested multiple times by the devil. The week leading up to Easter Sunday is the period in the run-up to Jesus’s execution on the cross and Easter Sunday is the celebration as to when he rose again from the dead.

Now, technically, and I had this argument with my mother today it was 2 and a bit days, however, I am working on a 24-hour clock and she quite rightly pointed out they may not have had that during Jesus time. This is one of the things that my autistic mind struggles to contend with but it is one of those things that I just have to accept that I may never fully understand.

So, you may still be wondering why Easter is important to me. Well to tell you the truth, I have never known anyone who was willing to die for me. Have you? Jesus went to the cross knowing that he was going to die, that it would be a painful death and yet he still went. He didn’t sacrifice himself for himself, he did it for people who were not even born yet. That is true love and devotion in a can. He died so that every single person in the world could be washed of sin.

Even in the bible, it says that as long as we apologize for things that we do wrong then we are forgiven. It all stems out of Jesus sacrifice to us.

I am by no means a saint. In my 32 years, I have done enough to make God wash his hands of me. I have drunk, been very promiscuous, lied, cheated, and everything there in between. I have been a victim of abuse and because of the depression I have regularly told God that I hated him. Yet, in 2008 when I had a serious cancer scare (14cm lump in my left breast) and had to have major surgery to remove it, he still was there waving at me saying “see I am here”.  Ever since then I try and walk the path that he has for me.

The truth is once I stopped fighting God I have been able to see the right way to go. I am able to what my purpose in life is. God is amazing. As is Jesus.

That is why Easter is important to me.

Faith, Autism, Gender, Sexuality and Gender Identity, Disability

So, I bet that this has really got your attention. It is not something you would usually see in the same sentence however I feel that it is something that should be shown. This all falls under the term of intersectionality. Intersectionality shows where people are not just one thing, you are part of many different communities.

Sometimes, however, this is something that could be in conflict with each other. Take for example faith and autism. I am a Christian, and I believe in Jesus and God however, the literal side of my brain (the autistic side) raises up questions. For instance, whilst I wholeheartedly believe in the Lent story, however, how can a man survive 40 days and 40 nights without food? Surely Jesus must have eaten at some point? 5 whole weeks with absolutely no food, physical impossibility even if he drank water.  Gandhi was able to survive 3 weeks without food however I just can’t understand how Jesus survived 5 weeks. Nothing in the bible explains how he survived 5 weeks without food. Surely as a human, he would have died as the body would not have had any fuel to keep it going.

As a woman, I have a lot of issues with the world today. I am subject to norms that society choose to put on me i.e. mother, wife, caregiver however for me this is something I rale against. I am more than a typical woman however I know I always have to fight about what people expect of me. This is very hard to deal with in today’s society especially when you think in religious terms. Christianity has had issues over women being in ministry which for me is something I don’t understand with my autistic brain because I really do not understand how on the one hand, we are made in Gods image, yet the Christian faith said that women are unable to preach his message. How can God really be against anyone who feels like they have been given the ability and the mission to preach his message to the masses?

Again, Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity is something that I feel is something that is impacted on the life of things. I have come to know that I am gender fluid.  It means that depending on the day, I identify as either man or woman. I do not think I am a man in a woman’s body I just feel more masculine on some days and more feminine on other days. I used to deal with this by buying men’s clothes however, my last relationship made this something that was impossible for me to do.  With my disabilities, this can be a little bit more tricky as I have to wear clothes that are suitable for my needs but it still is not to be ignored. One of the things that I do however to show the side of me I want is let the hair on my top lip to grow. I am not as concerned about keeping that area clean and the same for the legs. It is important to me that I am always true to who I am and yet, I am a Christian who believes in God, yet, the Bible does not recognize the difference.

So to sum this up. I am A Christian Woman, who has disabilities, who is heterosexual and Gender Fluid… SUE ME!