Holidays, a time for reflection
As I am seriously bad at taking holidays, I tend to take the bulk of it at Christmas. It gives you a proper chance to reflect of the year just gone and the new one that is due to start
This year that has just gone has been a year of ups and downs. I moved into my own place for the first time and so far I have far exceeded my streak of living alone. I have been single for a whole year and enjoyed the time by myself.
So what did I need to reflect on you may ask? Well the answer to that is honestly how I see myself and how I am going to go about getting to the places I want to get to. I have just been coasting this last year and I think it is time that I really look at what I want. I need to look at what I want on both a personal and professional level and figure out how I am going to achieve this.
One of the things I have learned over this Christmas period is what really keeps me calm when it comes to my autism. PROJECTS!!!With this in mind I have decided that I would like to learn to code. Even though you will not be able to see it I am using HTML code for this post. I am very proud of what I have already achieved and look forward to learning more.
I have learned that it is about knowing who you are as a person and being strong enough to say “I don’t care what you think of me, I know who I am and I am happy with that.” So from today I will no longer allow other people to define me and I will make sure that what I do is because it is what is best for me.
Reflection is good for you no matter what religion you are or what culture you are from. I urge everyone to take the time to reflect who who they are and what you want for yourself.
Finally, I would like to wish everyone in the world a Happy New Year, and lets hope that we can make 2020 the best it can be.
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What do I like most about being Autistic?
Someone asked what people with autism liked most about being autistic. This is something that gave me some pause to think about it for myself. What do I like best about being autistic?
The truth of the matter for me is that it is not about what I like most about being autistic it is about what makes me me. Because I was only diagnosed at the tender age of 31 I had many years where I thought my oddities were not something to be proud of but something to be ashamed of.
So again I thought about what makes me interesting as a person and I realized that the positive and the negative aspects are linked in together. An example I love trying new things, like coding, however when there is a problem I get held up on it and can’t do anything other than fixing the problem. Before my diagnosis people would tell me this was me being OCD or negative in some other way. Now, however, I take it as part and parcel of my autism. Sometimes it can be good and sometimes it isn’t.
I think there is no simple answer to what my favorite part of being autistic is as I feel it is something that I work on every day. I do what I can and when I can to make sure that what I am doing is for the benefit of me instead of a hindrance. An example of this is I started reaching out to local groups for things to do in the area. Someone suggested something to me which sounded cool but I was terrified of going alone because it would take one miss-step on the bus and I would be in meltdown mode. I could have refused to do this cool thing or I could tell the person what I was concerned about. The upshot of this is that when I am here at my other flat on the day the thing is taking place they will pick me up, take me on the bus and take me back at the end of it so I know the route and everything for the next time I would like to go. This is me doing things that would benefit instead of hinder me.
Again another Sex In The City post and I am sorry to say it’s how I feel.
I am watching Sex in the City and I am up to season 6 and I am up to Alexander Petrovskies. Now despite the ending where he hits Carry and she runs out of the apartment in Paris straight into the arms of Big I.e. happy ending. If there was a guy out there that was a cross between Mr Big, Aiden and Alexander Petrovski then I would be in Heaven.
What I have to say however is Romance dead?
This is a world where Men think that it is ok to break up with people by text, or worse email. This is even if they bother to tell you it’s over. Not unlike Berger.
Was Berger the start of this awful trend? Should we women really be angry at the creators of Sex in the City?
This brings an interesting question for autistic women. If men are set up in all of these categories, the Alexander Petrovskies, the Mr Bigs and the Aidens what chance do we have to understand the dating pool???
Men are complicated to understand but how can we navigate the complications of dating. However, when you have trouble navigating social situations it becomes really tricky.
If you start dating someone how do you stop yourself from making silly mistakes that drive them away?
How do you even discuss the needs you have with a potential new partner. “Hi, sorry I know your being romantic but I dont understand why”. Or “please stop moving shit around, it is my flat”. It is seriously A mind field.
How can we navigate the world of Petrovskis, Big or Aidens? How can we survive the dog eat dog world of dating when the Neurotypical people cant do it either?