suzefricker@mylifeaccordingtome.org Available all the time, just send me an email and I will get back to you.

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Autism

What do I like most about being Autistic?

Someone asked what people with autism liked most about being autistic. This is something that gave me some pause to think about it for myself. What do I like best about being autistic?

The truth of the matter for me is that it is not about what I like most about being autistic it is about what makes me me. Because I was only diagnosed at the tender age of 31 I had many years where I thought my oddities were not something to be proud of but something to be ashamed of.

So again I thought about what makes me interesting as a person and I realized that the positive and the negative aspects are linked in together. An example I love trying new things, like coding, however when there is a problem I get held up on it and can’t do anything other than fixing the problem. Before my diagnosis people would tell me this was me being OCD or negative in some other way. Now, however, I take it as part and parcel of my autism. Sometimes it can be good and sometimes it isn’t.

I think there is no simple answer to what my favorite part of being autistic is as I feel it is something that I work on every day. I do what I can and when I can to make sure that what I am doing is for the benefit of me instead of a hindrance. An example of this is I started reaching out to local groups for things to do in the area. Someone suggested something to me which sounded cool but I was terrified of going alone because it would take one miss-step on the bus and I would be in meltdown mode. I could have refused to do this cool thing or I could tell the person what I was concerned about. The upshot of this is that when I am here at my other flat on the day the thing is taking place they will pick me up, take me on the bus and take me back at the end of it so I know the route and everything for the next time I would like to go. This is me doing things that would benefit instead of hinder me.

The Alexander Petrovskies in the world

Again another Sex In The City post and I am sorry to say it’s how I feel.

I am watching Sex in the City and I am up to season 6 and I am up to Alexander Petrovskies. Now despite the ending where he hits Carry and she runs out of the apartment in Paris straight into the arms of Big I.e. happy ending. If there was a guy out there that was a cross between Mr Big, Aiden and Alexander Petrovski then I would be in Heaven.

What I have to say however is Romance dead?

This is a world where Men think that it is ok to break up with people by text, or worse email. This is even if they bother to tell you it’s over. Not unlike Berger.

Was Berger the start of this awful trend? Should we women really be angry at the creators of Sex in the City?

This brings an interesting question for autistic women. If men are set up in all of these categories, the Alexander Petrovskies, the Mr Bigs and the Aidens what chance do we have to understand the dating pool???

Men are complicated to understand but how can we navigate the complications of dating. However, when you have trouble navigating social situations it becomes really tricky.

If you start dating someone how do you stop yourself from making silly mistakes that drive them away?

How do you even discuss the needs you have with a potential new partner. “Hi, sorry I know your being romantic but I dont understand why”. Or “please stop moving shit around, it is my flat”. It is seriously A mind field.

How can we navigate the world of Petrovskis, Big or Aidens? How can we survive the dog eat dog world of dating when the Neurotypical people cant do it either?

I’m a Carry

I have been wondering what I am like as a person. Since the partial autism diagnosis I have been trying to reconcile who I am as a person and who Spent most of her life knowing I was different to finally knowing why.

As I have been having a throw back moment and watching Sex In The City, I chose to do a which Sex in the City girl are you quiz. Turns out that I am a Carry.

This is a live in the moment person. Someone who wants things in the future but doesn’t obsess about it in the here and now, unless you mess with my stuff, or change my routine or stress me out.

When you have to reconcile different aspects of your life then you have to honestly look at how you can live your life.

In terms of relationships I do not have my Mr Big and haven’t found him yet. I dont think that my Mr Big is ever going to show up. Before I knew I was autistic men haven’t been able to deal with the unknown eccentricities and now I know what cause them it’s a lot harder to find a guy who knows and can deal with it. Safe to say my Mr Big is not out there!

Why is it there are only Mr Bigs for “normal” people? Why do those of us who are not “Normal” have to settle?

Relationships and the untold truth

So, today has been a bit of a throw back Friday where I have been watching Sex in the City again fro. The get go. It has made me wonder about relationships today.

This world is such a screwed up place. It is a place that if your a woman who is not 5″10 and look as good as Jennifer Lawrence then the likelihood of you being swept off your feet is almost non existent

We live in a world that gorgeous celebrities never end up with the plain Jane’s but other gorgeous celebrities. With this happening in the media on a daily basis how likely is it that a 5″3, overweight average looking person is going to be able to pull a Chris North or Shemar Moore. It just isn’t going to happen.

When did personality become such a stigma to a relationship? Was it ever important in the first place?

It has made me think, I did not win the genetic lottery in the looks department but to ad insult to injury I am also autistic. Where is someone like me going to find a good looking guy who understands that change is a difficult thing, surprises have to be scheduled into my routine, and that I get held up on the small things. To date I have not found this man. I have been on some disastrous blind dates and feel like it is time to give up.

Is my life doomed to be an endless line of relationships that are bad for me? Or am I supposed to compromise on something that I am looking for? Is it just that Neurodiverse people can only date other neurodiverse people?

Relationships are more difficult the more complicated you are.

I guess I have to accept that I dont get the Chris Norths, Shemar Moores, Matthew Gray Gubler, Jackson Rathbones, Robert Davis of this world. I think I am just going to stay single because I know what works for me.

Autism and water

I have been reading why I am drawn to water. It calms me. When I am getting lost in myself, I often find my way to a body of water. Whether it is a canal, a river or just heavy rain puddles. I am very good at getting lost in things that make me smile.

I think it is linked to my autism. I read up on autism and found that autistic people can be drawn to large bodies of water. Glad to know that I have a river opposit my flat yippee!

Tuna Fish Soup!

So, I have been trying to figure out this cooking thing. I was given bits and pieces of the recipe, unfortunately, one of the key parts was missing. Be careful how much sauce you put in.

When you’re autistic it is very difficult to figure out cooking instructions especially those done by chefs. Reduce this to me = pour some out. Separate the eggs, well clearly one went in one corner and another went in the other. So tried this recipe without any instructions I applaud myself, however, instead of Tuna Fish Pie I made Tuna Fish Soup. Literally, I poured it onto the plate instead of dishing it up.

The learning curve, I think I need to do a test on how much source is needed. This is the only way in which I will be able to properly assess how much would make it a good pie instead of a soupy mess…

I have never been too good with cooking so I am working this out as I go. However, I am doing what I can to make it more sensible to me instead of a crazy mess. What I do not like about cooking however is the cleanup :S Sometimes I really wish I had a dishwasher!

To help with the Autism Cause however here is the recipe;

  1. Preheat the over to 180 degrees
  2. Peel the skin off the potatoes that you are going to use.
  3. Bring the potatoes to the boil,
  4. Leave to simmer on low temperature for 20-30 minutes
  5. The check is soft with a sharp knife stab the potatoes after.
  6. Drain the potatoes
  7. put in a spoon of butter then mash the potatoes.
  8. Once this is done open a tin of tuna.
  9. Drain the Tuna
  10. Depending on how many people you are cooking for put tuna into a bowl. If it is one person go by your love of tuna.
  11. Add in 1 handful of frozen peas
  12. Add in a small amount of sauce. It should be enough to cote the Tuna and the pees but not so much that you look like you are making soup.
  13. Put into an oven dish the tuna, peas, and sauce.
  14. Add on top the mashed potato
  15. spread out the mashed potato
  16. add a layer of cheese on top
  17. cook for 20-30 minutes in the oven (which you have preheated)
  18. Serve