suzefricker@mylifeaccordingtome.org Available all the time, just send me an email and I will get back to you.

DAY 11 PERSONAL LOCKDOWN DAY 3 QUARANTINE part 1

It is 12:07 when I write this so officially into the next day of quarentine. I am starting to feel better if not a little over tired.

The coughing that started on sunday has calmed down alot and the fever is still yoyoing but it is going in the right direction.

My voice is starting to come back if only for my sanity to be going. I spent 20 minutes last night laughing at the fact that no matter which way you break the word viagra down it still sounds like your saying viagra. I broke it down in two ways Vi ag ra and Via gra. That is the state of my sanity atm

Please everyone take this Lockdown seriously. My cousin who has a defect in her heart shows signs of Covid now if she goes down hill it could kill her. We already had to bury her brother from a car accident 5 nearly 6 years ago and now we have to face losing her too. All because people are being asswhole. Pleas do your part.

Stay home, protect the NHS and save lives

Day 8 – Personal Lockdown

So today I developed a cough and what the doctor said was a mild fever – YEAY THE ASTHMATIC HAS COVID SYMPTOMS!!

So on the advice of the NHS 111 service, I have to stay indoors for definite for 14 days. I am on antibiotics, steroids, and asthma inhalers. 14 days I have to figure out how I get my bins put out because I can’t keep the full bins in my flat for 14 days. Don’t think that would be too healthy.

Positive side I have had lots of people offering to help me out whilst I have to stay indoors for 14 days straight. 😦 Need to make sure I get enough sleep and enough liquids to keep my body hydrated.

The outpour of support has been amazing. Even had someone go and collect my medication for me and drop it on my front door for me.

 

 

Day 5 Personal Lockdown

Today has been difficult. I went out for my walk and realised I may be doing worse for myself by going out every day. I don’t think I can have a walk a day and now am worried about what my health is going to be like when this is all over. I have to exercise because otherwise my health will get worse especially my back condition but at the same time I am not getting any support to do the right things.

I have also started to worry about finance. Because I have to stay in my flat alone for a minimum of 3 months I need to buy more food. Usually I would top up once a month as I would be spending some time in London with my family when I had to work in London which I cant do now. Am I going to have enough to survive a whole month. Been trying to see if I was eligible for benefits to help with the increased costs associated for being at home all the time but the website is soooo slow.

I am now starting to worry.

Day 3 & 4 personal lockdown

So, I forgot to blog yesterday so you get 2 days for the price of 1.

Day 3

The day went well enough  my spirit was high and I even went out out for a walk. I have found it really funny that when I couldn’t go out when ever I wanted I could stay in all day and night however now that I can only go out once a day I want to go out.

Day 4

To be honest today I am ashamed of being British. Videos of people cussing out staff in shops who are rationing. Cussing them out for not being able to bulk buy coke I mean wtf.

When we have NHS staff who are living away from their families to protect them and keep working and then people sunbathing on Shepherds Bush Green… IT IS SHAMEFULL.

Write more tomorrow.

Day 2 – Personal Lockdown.

So today, I got to go outside. Not too far but Sainsbury’s was opening the first hour to people with disabilities which meant I could actually get some FOOD! I know novel concept people needing food :S

Since then I worked my hours but I made sure that I took breaks. Knowing that I would not be going out other than checking the post my plan is to take breaks to do things around the house.

The first break I took was for lunch. I made myself pancakes :S it was messy but I actually took like 40-minute lunch break… This is unheard of for me. Then this afternoon when my emails went quiet I went and did all my washing up. I think this is going to help me not lose my marbles. I also think I may have to start work earlier because my flat seems to get hot in the afternoon. Last check it was at 28 degrees so if I start work earlier I can be finished before it gets this hot again.

I won’t be going outside except for checking the post and maybe to get some fresh air in the courtyard.

Remember everyone where ever possible keep yourself safe and sane. Stay at home and help kick Covid’s ass.

 

Day 1 – Personal lockdown.

As I said previously I am basically locking myself away as much as possible so that I reduce the risk of catching the Corona Virus. Today is the first full day of it.

I came back to my flat in Kent yesterday and to be honest, after all the traveling I was a bit too tired to do anything.

Today I had two facetime calls with friends which were absolutely amazing 🙂 part of it was me wanting to make sure they were ok and the other part was me needing some interaction.

I have started cleaning today and doing some organizing. My goal for the end of the day is to make sure that I am set up for starting to work tomorrow AND to be completely unpacked from 2 and a bit weeks in London. It is important to make sure that I find something to do each day.

Tomorrow, I will be attending Sainsbury’s tomorrow morning at 08:00 so that I can get bread. I need to make sure that I have my disabled person ID card and my photo card so that they can prove that I am a disabled person who is entitled to the early shop. I will be interested to see how it all looks tomorrow morning. If I look out of the window and see large crowds I may have to just say screw it and stay indoors. I need to make sure that I am kept safe and not exacerbating my spinal problems.

Then I will be doing a full day of work and then find something to clean.

 

Autism & PTSD

Today I am posting about something that I am finding a little hard to speak about but, I find that blogging helps me to get things straight in my head and I know I can’t be the only person who is going through this as well.

From a previous post you will know that my mother and I helped out on 14/06/2017 when the Grenfell Tower fire happened and for years following I hid what I was going through from even myself. Until I basically exploded last year and I realised I could not go on ignoring it any more. I have now been diagnosed with PTSD from the fire and am starting a long journey to deal with this.

As I have started bringing the symptoms into the foreground I have found that I am noticing things more. I think I always noticed them but, my subconscious held onto it so I was less aware.

This has lead to an unfortunate incident at work which mortified me. On Thursday I was on the early train to London from where I live. I have done that journey so many times that I didn’t think that there would be a problem. Unfortunately, between two stations there was a large spark. I don’t know if it was large because at the time I was travelling it was still dark outside or whether it was because something had happened but I went into hyper-vigilance mode. Then at the next station someone who smoked got onto the train. I didn’t hear this person get on the train because I had my music on but smelled the smoke that had lingered on her. Hyper vigilance went up once again.

I finally got off of the train and was so anxious that I had to sit down. I finally went onto work and started work there. What I didn’t realise is that I had started the day off at an 8 or a 9 on the over stimulated side of the autism side. I did not make the connection. Because I did not make the connection I was unable to do things to calm myself down and by the end of the day my Deputy Directer pulled me to one side and said, “I think you may be over stimulated”. It finally clicked that that was happening. I realised that I was cranked up to an 11 or 12 for most of the day and I was soo tied. I honestly felt mortified because when it is just a normal over stimulation I am able to take the breaks I need and be OK but, because I had started the day over stimulated due to the PTSD I was blinded to it.

When I got home I agreed to start work after I had seen my therapist on Friday and that is how the link was made and I explained it to my Deputy Director when I logged in.

The next couple of weeks with my therapists we are going to look at coping strategies for me. Things that might help me click that PTSD and Autism are co mingling again and ways to get out of the “nowness” of these symptoms especially whilst I am at work.

What I want to say to all Autistic people out there who are struggling with PTSD too is to not blame yourself when these things happen. You can deal with the symptoms and you can survive. It does not make you weak asking for help and it certainly is not something to be ashamed off. Be strong and know that you are not alone.

Thank you for reading