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Perceived Threat

So, because I am due to move out again on my own for the first time properly on June 29th I am starting to get my anxiety levels spiking again. I know what happened when I tried before and it was basically a disaster. This time I will be truly out on my own and so my anxiety is starting to fly high again.

But what helps me keep things in check is remembering one simple thing. What I am worried about might happen but it might not. It is a perceived threat and not an actual threat. When people are trying to deal with anxiety the line between the two can get distorted so I have to keep reminding myself that something is a perceived threat.

So far I have not made it to a full autistic meltdown but other than that I am surviving.


Learning to cope

Since I have been diagnosed with autism I am very hyper-vigilant about behaviours which may cause concern for others. This can be very tough as it has given me a state of anxiety over how I behave at work. This is very difficult to handle however I am always looking at what I can do to better myself. It, however, feels like I am learning to walk for the very first time.  It can feel like I am taking one step back and 1,000,000 step back. I have had 32 years of trying to get someone to listen to me that I needed help, now that I have people I am trying very hard.  I think that if I did not have my work then I would go insane with the millions of things that go through my head.