When I am in my home away from those who do nothing but bring me down I am alone. But I can handle being alone in this situation. However, when I am there, I feel more alone than ever. I know what those who abuse me think of me.
I am a fake!
I am a loser!
I am a hypochondriac!
They spend their time making me feel so small for something I can’t control. For something that I finally feel comfortable expressing. Now, because I know what they do and say behind my back I have to hide who I am again. It is tiring. I can’t believe it. Because of this, the only time I can be me is when I am on my own or at work. I thought with my autism diagnosis I would be freed, now it has just brought more abuse. What do I do? I need help and there is no help available because for me to report them to get help, I put the life of someone else in jeopardy who relies on my abusers. How can I make my life better only to make someone else’s worse? The only option I have left is to crowdfund. Life is suckish.
If anyone can help me stay safe please donate what you can. I feel like I am going to go insane otherwise. My PayPal Pool is https://paypal.me/pools/c/8jodKc0c02, however, I ask it is not put on facebook. I can’t risk someone finding out about it.
Honestly, I feel discriminated against. I tried so hard to apply for a job and the whole process was geared against people with neurodiverse conditions. I struggled with the first stage and then the second stage too. I told them what I thought of their process and I was told that pre-release materials are not allowed. I honestly will be taking this to the programme runners and tell them that I honestly feel discriminated against. That I flagged up the issues and nothing was done, that no one got back to me when I asked for help and that forced me to complete the process without any support help or adjustments which probably helped me fail the section.
Never thought I would find this kind of discrimination in the job that I am doing but clearly it is.
So, I have been trying to figure out this cooking thing. I was given bits and pieces of the recipe, unfortunately, one of the key parts was missing. Be careful how much sauce you put in.
When you’re autistic it is very difficult to figure out cooking instructions especially those done by chefs. Reduce this to me = pour some out. Separate the eggs, well clearly one went in one corner and another went in the other. So tried this recipe without any instructions I applaud myself, however, instead of Tuna Fish Pie I made Tuna Fish Soup. Literally, I poured it onto the plate instead of dishing it up.
The learning curve, I think I need to do a test on how much source is needed. This is the only way in which I will be able to properly assess how much would make it a good pie instead of a soupy mess…
I have never been too good with cooking so I am working this out as I go. However, I am doing what I can to make it more sensible to me instead of a crazy mess. What I do not like about cooking however is the cleanup :S Sometimes I really wish I had a dishwasher!
To help with the Autism Cause however here is the recipe;
- Preheat the over to 180 degrees
- Peel the skin off the potatoes that you are going to use.
- Bring the potatoes to the boil,
- Leave to simmer on low temperature for 20-30 minutes
- The check is soft with a sharp knife stab the potatoes after.
- Drain the potatoes
- put in a spoon of butter then mash the potatoes.
- Once this is done open a tin of tuna.
- Drain the Tuna
- Depending on how many people you are cooking for put tuna into a bowl. If it is one person go by your love of tuna.
- Add in 1 handful of frozen peas
- Add in a small amount of sauce. It should be enough to cote the Tuna and the pees but not so much that you look like you are making soup.
- Put into an oven dish the tuna, peas, and sauce.
- Add on top the mashed potato
- spread out the mashed potato
- add a layer of cheese on top
- cook for 20-30 minutes in the oven (which you have preheated)
Hopefully, those instructions help you. If this recipe has helped you learn something new, please consider donating to my Paypal Pool; https://paypal.me/pools/c/8jodKc0c02
I am doing a new start to my blog. I am going to make this much more personal. I am going to tell you more about who I am and what I get up to on the day today. Living with my disabilities and living my life.
However, I have to ask again. To anyone there in the Neurodiverse community or the disability community who has the ability to donate please help me get myself out of a disgusting situation I find myself in.
I am being forced back into an abusive situation because I do not have the money to get out of it. I have to live with an abusive person when I have to be in London because I need to cover the cost of travel. I also have to stay because I owe the abuser £2k. This person would have no issue trying to force me onto Judge Rinder so that they could get the money that I don’t have extend the abuse.
The money would go to the following;
- 1-Years travel between London and where I live now
- 1-Years travel within London
- Pay my abuser back so they have no hold over me
- Get anything that I need to help me stay independent including shelving to minimize the need for bending
- Pay for services that I need to help with the maintenance of the flat
Please, could you help me donate as much as you can or, share the link?
Please help me if you can.