I have been asked what would I do if I won or was given £1,000,000.
Firstly £150,000 would be split 3 ways between my mum, my ex’s mum, and my exs dad. Sounds weird but they did a lot for me and my ex when we were together so I would give them that money free and clear.
Secondly, if my dad was still alive, I would give another £50,000 to my mum for home care support of her choosing.
That takes me up to £200,000.
Thirdly, I would pay off any and all debts that I had so I was financially free and clear.
Fourth, I would complete my dream of owning my dream home. So I would buy a plot of land and have my dream home built on it. It would be energy efficient and good for the environment. It would have a number of rooms so that I could apply to be a foster parent.
I recon that would take up at least another £400,000. So now we are at £600,000.
I would then out money into a savings account for my niece and nephew and any further kids my sister may have. If the interest was good etc hopefully they would not need to worry about the cost of student loans when they turned 18.
Essentially if I was given or won £1,000,000 very little of it would go to me. The rest would go to people who deserve it and to help me help others.
What would you do?
When I was in London this week helping my mum with my dad and working I watched a show called Secert Teacher.
Steven Barlett went undercover in a school to give two young people an opportunity they never would have had. But I wonder, where is the help for those of us who came before.
I am older then he is by 7 years so when he was in reception I was already in year 7 & 8. I had dreams but growing up for me in the 90s was hard going. Girls could not be autistic and dyslexia was ignored by schools unless parents forced the issue. So I went through school being told I was lazy and not understanding why I was not like everyone else. I honestly didn’t even think I would get GCSEs and thought that my only aspiration in life would be a toilet cleaner if that. All but one school wrote me off.
Where was my millionaire to help me? No where in site.
I am like many people in my age group who got missed and ignored by the system due to lack of knowledge and pure ignorance. Maybe one day someone will reward me and help me get the things I need done done. But that is highly unlikely. I guess this generation gets all the break and my generation gets to stay invisible and our dreams ignored.
Now I keep my dreams to myself because I know, I have no way to achieve them and where people like Steven Bartlett can succeed people like me can’t.
I feel like giving up.
Again I have been rejected for help and support for my disabilities. Everywhere I was being bogged off too I have tried to contact and in over a month they have not gotten back to me.
There are potential benefits that I could possibly apply but no one is telling me how to apply for them.
How the hell am I supposed to get support? I will have to pay for it now and honestly how the hell am I going to do that? £725 per month in rent £300 in bills and £370 to pay for a loan. £200 spare of my salary and £400 in disabilities which comes in once every 4 weeks. This does not tally with my other personal bills will I pay £250 a month to. I only get £1600 per month so I have to live off my benefits for food and other things so that I am able to get support.
I am an abuse survivor and no one is able to help me. I am seriously angry and upset.
Honestly, how can I continue to support other people when I get zero support in return. I feel like giving up.
Yesterday I received an awesome boost.
Due to my varying disabilities I struggle with a range of things. One of those things happens to be cleaning, more specifically making my bed. I can do the sheets and the pillowcases but doing the duvet cover is something that takes so much energy and causes me so much pain that I tend to avoid doing it. I would normally ask my mum to do it for me.
Well last night I had a little accident when my water which had a berroca thing in it kind of exploded all over me. I asked my mum is she would change my duvet cover and she said no. Fair enough it was like 8 pm. So I went back to my room and decided well, I may as well just try if it failed then mum could do it for me when I got up. So I went to the airing cupboard and got the new bed linen to change my bed and I got to the duvet. My back was hurting and I was doubting myself but I gave it a go. I managed to do it for the first time ever. I changed my Duvet Cover.
For those of you who do not have a disability you may not understand how huge this is for me. I really have NEVER changed my duvet cover. I just couldn’t. However, last night, was the first time I was able to do so. I was sore and hurting for the rest of the night but I achieved it. To me this was AMAZING. I am so proud of myself. I cant believe I did it.
I am so proud of myself!