This sounds like a bizarre post to put up but there is a reason for it. I went away on holiday which in itself was great. Unfortunately, the airline and the airports let me down in a big way both getting out to Italy and coming back. I honestly never felt more isolated in my life and I was traveling with a group of people.
The thing is, I decided that I would not let that define the holiday and I decided that I wanted to make sure that the people involved are actually held to account. As such I have made complaints to the airline and the airports.
The lady I spoke to today reminded me that, most people who have a bad experience will choose only to complain to the people that they know. They will accept the negative experience as something they should not question. When you have a disability it can also feel embarrassing. The question I should put to you at this point is, how can anything get better if the person or company who has done you harm, do not know that something has happened.
So, I encourage everyone with a disability, if you experience service in any form that has made you feel isolated, out of place or discriminated against then please raise a complaint and make sure that your voice is heard.
I feel it closing,
The familiar feel,
The desperation and emptiness,
Why is it back?
I do what I can to keep it away so why is it back?
What more can I do to keep it at bay?
How can I stop getting this lonely sinking feeling from engulfing me whole?
The emptiness is coming again. This time its stronger and I don’t know what caused it
I look out of the window and there it is, the black hole is beckoning me, its invisible forces pulling me closer and closer
It would be so easy for me to just let it bring me in but I know what the other side of that is,
The loneliness, the lack of work, I have fought to keep myself on the right side of that black hole but honestly, I always know,
One false step, one false move, can send me hurtling back to it and put me back in its orbit,
I can’t keep fighting without any support yet no one wants to help me.
How can it be that someone in need can’t be helped?
Not one person out there can see this black hole, I know it is there
It is closing in…
I am feeling very low today.
I have been soo stressed and sleepy in these last couple of weeks I got myself into a huge problem. I got seriously low and stuck in an old habbit of gaming. When you get obsessed with something you forget what is important because it is making you feel good again. However, now I am in a worse situation because I had lots of unexpected bills and now I have no money to move out.
I feel low and alone. No one is out there to help.
Living life with a disability is hard. When you live a life with multiple ones can at times, be unbearable. I have 4 disabilities, Autism, Dyslexia, Depression and Spinal problems. It is something that at times can regularly come into conflict with each other. When I have a really bad day with my back I stay indoors and do what I can to ease the pain. The problem comes when the bad day lasts longer than one day and I have to stay indoors for longer periods of time. I start feeling low, my mood goes and my self-care goes out the window. This then causes my depression to go out the window.
With my autism, when I have a meltdown it can have a negative impact on my physical wellbeing and then the above happens again and again. It can be quite maddening. I am trying very hard to live my life but it also seems like there is no support for people in my situation 😦 But, we can survive. We can move on. We can keep the wheels turning but it means that we must keep fighting. Life is not simple however we can survive it.
I want to get a service dog. It is becoming clear that certain parts of the City of London are no good for me as an autistic person and I end up in vulnerable situations where I am in the process of having a melt down and I dont know where to get help. When I am in meltdown mode I loose a lot of ability to speak to people I dont know and feel that a service dog that will help me if nothing else, give people a clue that I need help and to keep me safe when I am having a meltdown is something I need.
I also need one, I feel to keep me mentally ok as I would have the dog to focus on which would mean I would get out more and it would help me with my spine problems as well as helping me with things I really struggle with which is picking things up off the floor, getting laundery out of the machine and helping me in the streets when I need it.
So my question is:
- How in the UK do I go about getting one?
- Does it cost to get one;
- Can anyone help me in the process?
All help would be welcome.
Having dealt with my depression since 2007 I can tell you one thing that you should do to help keep yourself on track is to have something to look forward to. The reason why this is important is that we need something to keep your mind to good things. For me, I am able to say this 3 weeks until I have the opportunity to go and watch Giovanni Penice perform and I will get to meet him too. This has got me so happy and honestly, I am going to be able to go with a good friend. It is not something that I am able to do very often so this is going to be so great. When I have a tough week at work I keep thinking this is something that will be great and I will always be able to keep things happy.
Depression is something that you can’t fight alone but having ways to cope and try and keep the serotonin pumping is to find something that you love and go for it.
One thing I needed to get myself together to understand what it is that is “wrong” with me. However, it was not till I understood that there is nothing wrong with me I am just different to everyone else around me.
I get very emotional over some things. That isn’t bad, it just means that I can get really sad. The thing that I am sad most about is when I see an animal who gets killed in the middle of the street. It doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with me. It means my mind deals with this kind of things differently. Same for TV shows. There are certain episodes of shows that I can not ever watch again because they make me so sad that I cry. The logic side of my brain knows that its fiction but I just can’t deal with what is being shown, example, the episode in Criminal Minds where Hotch’s ex-wife is killed by the Reaper… I can NEVER watch that episode ever again.
I have uber senses (if only my eyesight was one of them). It’s not bad, it just means I avoid situations where I am likely to be affected… It’s not bad, just means that I am different.
Differences make you who you are and that is something that we all need to accept. If we were all the same, we would not have the breakthroughs that we have in art, science, music and many other things… If we were, all the same, we may as well be wearing gray jumpsuits and all have numbers instead of names.