So this week coming I have a lot to do and unfortunately I will be working from home the whole week. It can be a good thing but it can also be a bad thing. Luckily I will be seeing my support worker tomorrow and I will be on a training course as well on Thursday.
My holiday really has imprinted on me my need for self-care so I am doing more to support myself and help get myself more independent. This includes getting a shopping trolly so that I can go to Sainsburys when I need to and not wait for online orders for everything. It also means I am getting a 4 wheeled laptop bag so I do not have to carry much on my back to avoid extra pain. Lastly, I am going to start using buses more and fewer tubes which means that I will be walking more in between as well..
Clearly, my holiday has empowered me to do more and try and claw back some independence.
You never know how run down you have gotten until you actually stop and take some time for yourself. This is something that I have learnt the hard way. I was soo low before I went on holiday. Even with some of the people who I was penpalling with all I could write about was my up coming trip. This is not a good sign for anyone. When you are that run down you have pushed your body to beyond the limits you should have… It doesn’t help with your mental health or your physical health.
You must always remember that you are important and no matter how much good you do for others, you will never be able to continue if you run out of energy or steam.
For people with disabilities, we all know that we have the added pressures of managing our disabilities as well as everything else that we do and so it is important to know what your limits are. If you want to try and push beyond the limits to do it in a way that you are not going to hurt yourself.
I emplore everyone to make sure that they make time for themselves as often as they can. You do not need to be left in a position where you are unable to continue. Look after yourself and then you will be able to look after others x
Since coming back from my holiday I have been covered in holiday energy. My Wellbeing has been massively improved. My self-care is improved and I have had the energy to do everything including cleaning my room, showing every day and even moving around. honestly if you are feeling run down, find somewhere to go and go on holiday.
Yesterday I watched a Dwayne Johnson (the Rock) movie called Skyscraper. It was such an awesome movie because he played an amputee who has made a life for himself after his injury and then has to fight to save his family during an inferno. Obviously, those of us old enough to remember the Towering Inferno would consider it similar to that movie.
Now the reason why I found this amazing is how well he did at playing a person with a disability. It really shows that you can do anything despite your disability. I am not saying you can scale the side of a burning building but, what I am saying is that you can use your disability as a strength. This movie also had an inspirational background as an AMAZING Paralympian helped The Rock learn what it was like to be an amputee.
Even if you do not like the idea of taking inspiration from a movie, you can take the message which is that we are all the same, just some people may struggle more than others. Definitely, a worthwhile movie to watch.
This sounds like a bizarre post to put up but there is a reason for it. I went away on holiday which in itself was great. Unfortunately, the airline and the airports let me down in a big way both getting out to Italy and coming back. I honestly never felt more isolated in my life and I was traveling with a group of people.
The thing is, I decided that I would not let that define the holiday and I decided that I wanted to make sure that the people involved are actually held to account. As such I have made complaints to the airline and the airports.
The lady I spoke to today reminded me that, most people who have a bad experience will choose only to complain to the people that they know. They will accept the negative experience as something they should not question. When you have a disability it can also feel embarrassing. The question I should put to you at this point is, how can anything get better if the person or company who has done you harm, do not know that something has happened.
So, I encourage everyone with a disability, if you experience service in any form that has made you feel isolated, out of place or discriminated against then please raise a complaint and make sure that your voice is heard.
I feel it closing,
The familiar feel,
The desperation and emptiness,
Why is it back?
I do what I can to keep it away so why is it back?
What more can I do to keep it at bay?
How can I stop getting this lonely sinking feeling from engulfing me whole?
The emptiness is coming again. This time its stronger and I don’t know what caused it
I look out of the window and there it is, the black hole is beckoning me, its invisible forces pulling me closer and closer
It would be so easy for me to just let it bring me in but I know what the other side of that is,
The loneliness, the lack of work, I have fought to keep myself on the right side of that black hole but honestly, I always know,
One false step, one false move, can send me hurtling back to it and put me back in its orbit,
I can’t keep fighting without any support yet no one wants to help me.
How can it be that someone in need can’t be helped?
Not one person out there can see this black hole, I know it is there
It is closing in…
I am feeling very low today.
I have been soo stressed and sleepy in these last couple of weeks I got myself into a huge problem. I got seriously low and stuck in an old habbit of gaming. When you get obsessed with something you forget what is important because it is making you feel good again. However, now I am in a worse situation because I had lots of unexpected bills and now I have no money to move out.
I feel low and alone. No one is out there to help.