suzefricker@mylifeaccordingtome.org Available all the time, just send me an email and I will get back to you.

Open letter to Children with Disabilities

Dear child,

I know you wish you were like all the other kids in school. You wish that you were not different. You wish that the comments would stop and that you would be accepted for who you are.

I know that when you get up in the morning wishing you could stay in bed and pray that you could stay safe. I know at times you feel so low that you want to die.

I know how you feel because I was you. I was picked on and bullied my entire school life, unfortunately for me it wasn’t until I was an adult and late late teens that I found out what made me different but it hurt. The comments that kids made, the names I got called and sometimes even physical violence. I just wanted it to end. I didn’t know how to bring the subject up with anyone because when I did things got worse. So, I internalised it all.

But, I want you to hang in there. No matter what makes you different you are special. No matter what you deal with on a day to day in school it can get better. It is hard to see the light right now but it is there and you can be who ever you want to be. You can get a college degree and you can have a career and those bullies you dealt with in school are likely to find out the hard way what Disability is. When they have to deal with it either in themselves or in the family they love they will realise and regret the choices they made. They will remember you forever because they will regret it and you will not remember them.

The light may seem far off but don’t loose hope. Don’t let the bullies win. Because everything you are going through now is giving you more strength to go out and get what you want.

Your family love you and you are loved by people who don’t even know you.

Find your strength and fight on through the pain and through the hurt because what is waiting on the other side is acceptance, love and understanding.

Bullies can only win if you let them. So fight hard every day to prove that you are the awesome person that you are.

Prayer, love and support going out to you and all children who have a Disability x you are all loved x

From

Me

I am not a campaigner

I am not a campaigner!

I know this statement sounds strange but the truth is I am not. I do not believe the world owes me something because I am autistic, dyslexic, with depression and spinal problems. I know the world does not work in a way where those in need get what they need. However, some people think that because I blog that I am a campaigner.

The truth behind what I do however, is not so much campaigning but more PR.

The disabled community has two things against them.

The first thing is that when someone with disabilities wants to work it is hard to find someone who will hire them. Obviously work places can not discriminate on disability grounds but we all know that if two candidates with the same qualifications and experience go for a job, it is more likely that the one without disabilities will get the job.

Then if someone with a disability gets a job they lose the support that they need to survive from the government. There are benefits that I could be on with advice given to me that if I stopped working I could get them. But unless I am willing to give up work I am not allowed them. How fair is this? Your telling someone who wants to work who would be entitled to the benefit that they have to loose the purpose in their life to get the help they need.

The other thing we have against us is our own community. There are people out there juts like in all communities who will say “fuck it I am disabled I don’t have to ever work again”. Because of this attitude when they are made to work they leave such a bad taste in their employers mouths that the next person who has that disability will get “oh no not another one”.

So what can we do?

I choose to role model myself in to how I would like people to view me both personally and professionally. I tell my team what sets me off, what of me can be changed and what can’t and I have open and honest dialogue with people.

I tell everyone that if I do something to upset you then I need them to explain it to me not just say “oh she is autistic” or “she has depression”. This works for no one.

I am as open and honest as I know how to be so that when the next person has my job, if they have depression, autism, physical disabilities, dyslexia the word my team say is not going to be “oh not another one” but in fact “Yes we have another one”.

Only we can change how people view us. Only we can show them that we are as good as those without disability. We don’t need campaigners, we need people willing to go out and show the world, disability does not mean we are useless.

So my challenge to all those with disabilities. Go out, find a way to show the world the amazing things that you can do. Show the world your amazing gifts that your disability gives you. We all have something. Don’t hide it but show the world the amazingness that is you.

We are Stewards of the World

I am a Citizen of the World

I have long considered myself out of place and out of time. Just because I am Autistic I have decided that the reason I feel out of place is because I am a citizen not just of my country of birth, but of the world

I feel deeply for those who struggle not just here but across the globe. I hurt when I see the pain that other people are going through whether it is from natural disaster or through circumstance. I cant make the hurt stop however, what I can do is call for help

So because of this I want to call out to everyone. No matter what Religion you are be it Christian, Buddist, Muslim, Jewish or something else, we are stewards of the world. This even applies to those who are people of no faith. We are supposed to look after and protect the world and we have failed to do so.

So my call out is to everyone. What we are seeing in Australia at the moment is total devastation. Homes and lives are being lost and our first responders are doing the best they can. The Military is doing the best they can but they need our help. What ever you can do to help those affected by the Bushfires please do so.

Look at the red cross, look for things that can help these people who have lost everything, The trees and the environment that has been destroyed, the wildlife that could be extinct because of these fires. We need to do something to help everyone. We are stewards of this world and we are all human. I dont care about political views but we need to help these people.

Coding & Me

What makes coding special to me?

Coding is something that I am finding very relaxing.

When your brain is so chaotic as mine, coding gives me a sense of something that makes me feel safe. When you have two neurodiverse conditions which are by their nature polar opposites of each other, you mind can be a crowded and messy place. This is what I live with on the day to day

Coding brings me a certain amount of relaxation when my world is going crazy and there is nothing I can do to stop it

It also gives me something to focus on. When I am unable to sleep, or having stress, coding gives me that focus I need to get through.

There is something so elegant about coding. It never lies. It works or it doesn’t. If it doesn’t it gives you a mission for find out why it is not working. This is a challenge.

I would recommend finding a project that you can work on if you are Autistic. It can give you a sense of purpose in a crazy world that we find ourselves in.

Anyway I will leave it ther for now.

My Peace

My peace of mind

How do I draw Peace in a Chaotic mind?

I often get asked how I draw peace in the chaos of my mind? How do I calm myself both as an autistic person as well as a Christian woman as well. The truth is is that I often find peace in a certain Psalm. The Psalm I refer to is Psalm 23 and I will share it with you now

The Lord is my Shepherd, I lack nothing;

He makes me lie down in green pastures;

he leads me beside quiet waters;

He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake;

Even though I walk through the darkest valley;

I will fear no evil;

For you are with me;

Your rod and your staff they comfort me;

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil;

My cup overflows

Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life;

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord, forever;

This Psalm is something that always has stayed with me and been a calming influence on me when growing up. It shows that no matter what happens God will take care of me. Even, if it does not seem like it now I will be rewarded when I see him at the end of my road where ever that may be. When you grow up with a mind a chaotic as mine, with un-diagnosed autism it is really easy to wonder why everything happens to you but this Psalm no matter how chaotic my life is it brings me back

Christmas Break

Holidays, a time for reflection

As I am seriously bad at taking holidays, I tend to take the bulk of it at Christmas. It gives you a proper chance to reflect of the year just gone and the new one that is due to start

This year that has just gone has been a year of ups and downs. I moved into my own place for the first time and so far I have far exceeded my streak of living alone. I have been single for a whole year and enjoyed the time by myself.

So what did I need to reflect on you may ask? Well the answer to that is honestly how I see myself and how I am going to go about getting to the places I want to get to. I have just been coasting this last year and I think it is time that I really look at what I want. I need to look at what I want on both a personal and professional level and figure out how I am going to achieve this.

One of the things I have learned over this Christmas period is what really keeps me calm when it comes to my autism. PROJECTS!!!With this in mind I have decided that I would like to learn to code. Even though you will not be able to see it I am using HTML code for this post. I am very proud of what I have already achieved and look forward to learning more.

I have learned that it is about knowing who you are as a person and being strong enough to say “I don’t care what you think of me, I know who I am and I am happy with that.” So from today I will no longer allow other people to define me and I will make sure that what I do is because it is what is best for me.

Reflection is good for you no matter what religion you are or what culture you are from. I urge everyone to take the time to reflect who who they are and what you want for yourself.

Finally, I would like to wish everyone in the world a Happy New Year, and lets hope that we can make 2020 the best it can be.

Advertising

Advertising on my site

I need to find a way to make money! I need to be able to support myself and keep up the membership I have with WordPress which will be expiring in September 2020.

With this in mind, if you have any projects that you would like to be advertised on my blog please contact me at suzefricker@hotmail.com

It can be anything from an event, course, conference or product. If you have something you would like to share with the world please contact me and I will share it.

My rates are simple. I can discuss it with you when you make contact. I am just trying to find a way to make some extra money to go towards extras 🙂

I look forward to hearing from you.