Jennifer sat down with Matilda. Matilda was sitting down and talking to her. She was saying things about the process they were going through. Jennifer was sitting there and listening to her. She felt seriously weird. What she didn’t realize was her leg was twitching but Matilda did.
“Is everything ok Jennifer, your leg is twitching?”. Jennifer looked down at her leg. She immediately stopped doing it.
“Yes, I am ok. I do this my entire life. I randomly start twitching. I have never understood why I do it. It seems to happen when I am stressed out or when I feel uncomfortable but I never know why I am doing it or even when I am doing it. Sounds strange, huh, not knowing when your leg is twitching?”
Matilda looked at her and wrote something down. However, she noticed that Jennifer’s leg started twitching again.
“So the way this works is that we have some conversations and then some tests and then I will provide you with an answer, hopefully”. Matilda noticed that Jennifer’s leg was twitching more. “What’s wrong Jennifer?” she asked.
“What do you mean hopefully?” Jennifer responded.
“Well some of the information we do not have so we have to go by the information that we have now. This may not provide you with an answer straight away. But we will be going through this together”.
Jennifer’s twitching stopped and they started to talk. Matilda noticed that throughout the time they had together Jennifer’s leg would twitch occasionally and they would try and explore why in the time.
Halfway through the session they had Matilda asked Jennifer about change. Jennifer started thinking about times in her life when she had a problem with change. She thought about the day in school when her mum couldn’t walk her there which was a break in the norm and she got so upset that her mum ended up being late for work.
She also thought about the time her parents were supposed to take her to the library and they ended up being unable to do so and she got upset. She then remembered every time she got upset when she had to give up her single room to share with a sibling. She remembered how when she was told the change was happening that she would throw a hissy fit and get into trouble. She never understood why these things happened. She remembered feeling so low in herself. She looked at her siblings and did not see them doing these things and thought she was defective. She could not understand why she was so different.
There were numerous other instances when she suddenly could not make a journey how she planned or there was an unforseen issue on transport. When things were changed at work like her shift and she did not know what was happening or even when she was warned of a change and she got so upset that she would start crying. She never knew why she just new that she felt physically drained at the end of it.
Jennifer relayed this to Matilda and she started writing again. Matilda was keeping things to herself but Jennifer felt relief. All the time in her life she felt defective she was finally able to talk to someone about it. She was able to share her concerns with someone and work her way through it.
During her second session with Matilda, Jennifer was asked about her senses. She remembered that she had always had sensitive hearing. She could always hear both sides of a telephone call even if she was not next to anyone. She could watch tv with the volume level so low (Between 5-10)and still be able to hear every word that was being said. At times people thought she was making it up and that was when she would repeat all the lines that were being said back to them.
Jennifer recalled to Matilda the times when she has been on a bus and has smelt cigarettes when someone has gotten on the bottom deck and she was on the top. It often made her feel sick. She also recalled the physical reaction she had to smells. One time when she was at a job someone had worn too much perfume. No one else could smell it, so they said, but it engulfed her to the point that she threw up multiple times and had to go home.
She also talked about how she can taste differences in food. The number of times her ex had made her a cup of tea and she complained the milk had been off. Her ex would brush it off and say she was being silly and then a few hours later, the same milk bottle would be thrown out because they finally smelt what she had tasted.
Yet again this was something that she thought was her being defective.
During the question/conversation aspect she was asked a lot about things. She realized, later, after these sessions were done, that she should not seem to have the knowledge she did. She talked about things she loved, like TV shows that she could remember specific things years after the show had finished. Matilda brought up a list of episodes for her and Jennifer was able to tell her exactly what happened in each episode. She even remembered the opening theme word for word.
Jennifer also talked about her interest in crime and psychology. She talked about profiling and the murder triangle.
All Jennifer remembered from the testing aspect was the broken part. She was allowed to play with some toys. She was drawn to a box that had nails in. You could make designs on it. Matilda asked her why she liked it so much. Jennifer explained that even on small surface areas like this a valid fingerprint could be obtained. She also explained how it would be done.
For Jennifer, this was a normal conversation but she also knew people would not like it. Her love of crime and criminal psychology had freaked many people out in the past. When she tried to do book reports on criminals or reviews of newspapers so she chose news stories on serial killers.
Jennifers’ leg started twitching a lot when she was doing this. She explained that she did not know much about friendship. Those who seem to be her friends always seem to teeter off. She didn’t have anyone who she called a friend. She tried so much but then gave up.
After all of the sessions were complete she, Jennifer had to wait to get the report on how defective she was and hope that she could get help.
Note from the Author
I started writing this story to share my imagination. Partly as a therapeutic tool but also in the hopes to get some fundraising done for my needs. If you like my story and feel like you would like to help me please donate to my PayPal pool. If you would be willing to help please donate what you can to https://paypal.me/pools/c/8jodKc0c02 every penny helps. I will hopefully have the next installment for you next week.