suzefricker@mylifeaccordingtome.org Available all the time, just send me an email and I will get back to you.

Review: Hobbs and Shaw

I watched the movie Hobbs and Shaw today.

I have to say that it was not that bad. The thing that I found a little confusing is the amount of story lines in it. You had the two family stories as well as the main story. This I found to be very confusing. However, I understand why they did it as they would not be able to get the movie to two hours with the main story line.

Jason Statham and Dwayne Johnson do an amazing job in this movie and i loved the fact that there was an elament of comedy in it aswell.

All in all a very good movie, and a must see.

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Beth Chapman

So, I have wanted to write this since I heard the news that Beth Chapman had lost her battle with Cancer but I did not know the words I wanted to use.

I first saw Beth Chapman years ago when I started watching Dog the Bounty Hunter. I was going through a real tough time mentally and physically and honestly did not know what to do. I was so low that I honestly considered doing something stupid. I was flicking through the channels and then got to Dog the Bounty Hunter and I thought should be interesting because they had Ozzy Osbourne doing the theme song.

I watched these guys and gals chase down this fugitive and I saw Beth really get into it with her and the family. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. But then in the car Beth was talking to her about God and how she can change her life around and he is there for you no matter whAt. Honestly I was amazed. Not too seconds ago I saw her swearing so much you couldn’t understand the sentence because it was bleeped out and now she was showing so much love and compassion that I cried. I must have been in tears for like 30 minutes.

From that day I chose to be like Beth. When I needed to be tough I was and when I needed to show compassion I did. I saw that day that just because you are short or bigger then others or swear like a trooper you still matter and what you do to others still matters. Even if you loose your way there is always someone to welcome you home and that is God.

I followed Beth and Dogs journey from that day on and have been inspired every day. Between them they brought back my love of God and my faith in humanity. I am sad that I will never get to meet Beth now until the day I hopefully get into Heaven but I like to think she can see me now.

Earth may have lost an amazing woman but heaven gained an angel. She is up there making sure no fugitives escape there!

Dwayne Chapman: I doubt you will ever read this but I want you to know in the off chance that you do. Beth is still watching over you and the family, and you are strong and you can continue your amazing work. Just remember she hasn’t gone forever, she has just gone ahead of you to make sure everything is perfect for when you get there.

Giving Up

I feel like giving up.

Again I have been rejected for help and support for my disabilities. Everywhere I was being bogged off too I have tried to contact and in over a month they have not gotten back to me.

There are potential benefits that I could possibly apply but no one is telling me how to apply for them.

How the hell am I supposed to get support? I will have to pay for it now and honestly how the hell am I going to do that? £725 per month in rent £300 in bills and £370 to pay for a loan. £200 spare of my salary and £400 in disabilities which comes in once every 4 weeks. This does not tally with my other personal bills will I pay £250 a month to. I only get £1600 per month so I have to live off my benefits for food and other things so that I am able to get support.

I am an abuse survivor and no one is able to help me. I am seriously angry and upset.

Honestly, how can I continue to support other people when I get zero support in return. I feel like giving up.

Follow up from the Move

Hi everyone.

I thought I would give you an update from my move. It has been a while since I moved in now so things are going ok. I am trying very hard to be independent and it can be very difficult. When I am having issues with my disabilities that is something that I find hard when I am on my own. When I was living full time with my parents they would help me out and now I have to sort things out myself.

I am doing things however for myself. I am traveling between Chatham and London and I get out for the HUB when I am working. I work from home as well.

It is hard and trying to get the support I need however I am doing the best I can.

Just an update for you all 🙂

The world is broken

The world is broken.

I am not just talking about one country or another, I mean the world.

No matter where you go in the world there are people who are thrown to the dirt by society and treated less then they are. Where those of us who really try to be part of society even though they have to battle their own bodies to do it and we are ignored and subjected to cruelty.

I was scared to use public transport in London because when I really needed a seat because of my back I was left with comments such as “you do not need a seat, you need to lose weight” or “standing will fucking help you lose your fat, you fat bitch”. No matter what I tried people would be so cruel. I had a meltdown in the underground and I would get people kicking me because I got into a state that I had to stop and sit down. I even had people tell me that it was my fault that I had a meltdown and I should stop being selfish.

Across the world, we have veterans who fight for our freedoms who are discarded when they can no longer do their job. They give their minds, bodies, and souls for protection and when their mind breaks or their body breaks no one gives a fuck and they just look away when they see them on the street begging for our scraps. What’s worse is there are people out there who pretend to be homeless so that people lose faith in helping anyone who really needs it.

Because money is tight for me, I don’t give it up lightly but what I do do is buy a pack of smokes or food for people and sit and talk to them. I don’t have much but what I do have I will give no matter who you are, what country you’re in, what you believe in or what you look like.

We have a world where people who are supposed to give a shit just don’t and we are left to our own devices.

What can we do with this broken world?

I do it every day. I am nice to everyone I can be nice too. When I am able to help anyone even if it is a stranger I will and I will always do what I can to make the world a nicer place. The world is broken but I still believe in the goodness of people. It is inside all of you. You just have to do something about it.

I’m invisible

I am invisible. I have been invisible since I was in school. Not one of the 3 primary schools and two secondary schools picked up on the fact that I was dyslexic. The medical society refused to recognize women with autism unless they were seriously on one end of the scale so we just got labeled problem children.

I am invisible. That’s why I can’t be seen by people.