suzefricker@mylifeaccordingtome.org Available all the time, just send me an email and I will get back to you.

Perceived Threat

So, because I am due to move out again on my own for the first time properly on June 29th I am starting to get my anxiety levels spiking again. I know what happened when I tried before and it was basically a disaster. This time I will be truly out on my own and so my anxiety is starting to fly high again.

But what helps me keep things in check is remembering one simple thing. What I am worried about might happen but it might not. It is a perceived threat and not an actual threat. When people are trying to deal with anxiety the line between the two can get distorted so I have to keep reminding myself that something is a perceived threat.

So far I have not made it to a full autistic meltdown but other than that I am surviving.

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Tomorrow May Not Come

Two years ago, 14 June 2017, I woke up for work expecting it to be a normal day. I looked at my phone to see a BBC news broadcast about Grenfell fire. I usually woke up at 5 am.

Two years ago today my mother and I, both with very little and disabilities, went down to the fire which is 3 minutes away by car or bus but too far for us to walk. We had loaded the car up with homemade blankets, fans, jumpers, food, drink and anything we knew we could do without. We went round to as many pop up centers as we could find and donated what we had brought to the efforts that were underway for them.

The Christian Center

The Westway

St Clements church

All three places were on our stop tour.

We sat with victims and prayed with them, helped them get food, sorted out the donations till I was physically unable to cope any more and was a blubbering wreck. AT that moment no one cared about religion, gender, ethnicity, age, politics, the social economic background we just came together. There were Christians in mosques and Muslims in churches and no one cared.

Businesses were giving away food and doctors and nurses and pharmacies were looking after people with needs so that they could keep the nonurgent cases out of the emergency rooms.

The only thing that we wanted was to make sure that we all got through that horrific day. Firefighters were even working double shifts and many have suffered PTSD from that day.

Because of this fire people have been displaced and the pain of that day lingers on every day. For 6 months I had nightmares every night. I got so tired that I was falling asleep everywhere.

So today I ask that you do something kind for someone in memory of those who did not make it out of that death trap, for the firefighters who suffer for what they saw and for the volunteers who bravely did whatever they could to help the community out. Don’t put it off till tomorrow because the lesson we learned the hard way here in North Kensington is that tomorrow is never guaranteed. So don’t put off till tomorrow something you can do today. Tell your parents, children, relatives of any kind that you love them. Live good lives and most importantly do not take your life for granted…

Minor Setback

I think I have had a minor set back with my ankles. For those who did not know, I pulled the ligaments in both of them. This morning at 1:30 am I woke up in pure pain to the point I had to take extra pain killers. So I am frustrated as I was doing so well. I was looking forward to going into the office tomorrow and now I do not know whether I will even be able to wake up in time to go in 😦 Sad times

Feeling Freaked

I finally found a place that is my dream flat. Honestly, I can’t believe this I found my dream place. It is in my price range. It suits my needs for all my disabilities and to be honest it is my dream place.

I am now panicking because there is so much that I will need to buy for the place. I dont feel like I can go onto gofundme because last time I tried I got abused.

What do I do?