#ThankYouForYourService

Hi,

 

My name is Suze Fricker and I am from London England. I apologise if I have already sent a letter similar to this to you before but I thought that I would double check what I am doing and resend out to all I can find.

 

In 2016 I started a Thank You campaign for uniformed services to include the following: Police, Military, Fire, Paramedics (EMTs), Life guards, Doctors and Nurses. This came out of my admiration for people who serve their communities, cities and countries in uniform. I know from personal experience due to health or phobias that none of these professions would be suitable for me and so I decided that I would make the effort to thank those who took up the calling.

 

You who serve in Uniform, no matter what it is do so, so that people like me, who cant serve, are not forced into situations they can not handle. You do so with bravery and courage and make many people feel safe or better for you being around. Despite the negativity that can surround the uniformed services you still go into work the next day and the day after and so on and so forth. You can see the best and worst that life and throw at someone and still find meaning and passion in everything that you do.

 

So to you, and everyone you serve with, I say Thank You For Your Service.

 

I would also ask you to let your families know my thanks as well. As Tom Selleck said in Blue Bloods, “Your Family serves just as much as you do”. Which is true. Behind those in uniform there are people who do amazing things including supporting you and being there through the rough times.

 

One day I hope to be able to thank as many people as I can in person as honestly you make me proud to be a citizen of this planet.

 

Stay safe, keep well and Thank You For Your Service.

 

Warmest Regards

 

 

 

 

Suze Fricker

 

p.s. I am sending this to the top people so that they can disseminate to all who work within. I am a lowly civil servant so I cant afford to send out to every single station etc.

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Abuse, Fear, Trust and Anger

Due to some really hateful things that were said to me about my videos I have decided not to do them anymore.

So today I am going to talk about surviving abuse, fear, trust, and Anger. You might all think that fear trust and anger go part and parcel of fear, trust, and anger and that I will be making the same point repeatedly. In some cases it is true, they are linked but I am also going to talk about how they are different.

So let’s start with fear. Most people think fight or flight when they think about fear, some may even think about the freezing aspect. When you are a survivor of abuse, however, there is a 4 option and that is submission. When you start getting abused you deal with fight or flight or freeze but when it is prolonged like it has been for me you get into this state of submission. You stop fighting because that is the only way to survive. Flight, especially in some cases, is not possible and you certainly have not frozen. You choose to survive and that involves submission. It is not you giving in, it is you choosing to survive.

Whether it is verbal, emotional, physical or sexual you find yourself submitting to stay alive. You might think that verbal and emotional is easy to get away from because there is no one assaulting your body but it is just as hurtful as physical or sexual and is harder to identify. The reason for this is because there are no visible scars and so your abusers can shrug off the effects that they have caused you to others as, “their acting out” or that “they are lying”. This happened to me with the people my parents brought into our house. Their kids would sexually abuse me and when I would not do what they wanted they made me out to be this monster… Soon over time, no one believed anything I said so I had to submit in order to survive. I would, however, do what I could to keep my distance. I would try and force myself into school with a fever so that they would not be called to look after me while my parents were at work… The downside to this, however, is that my mum was an ex-nurse so she knew when I had to stay home from school. I would then get so clingy to my parents but still left with them. So submission was my only way to survive.

Trust is the next thing I want to talk to you about. It is a wonderful thing, however, victims of abuse never have that luxury. Whether it was my parents physically abusing me, family friends sexually abusing me or siblings emotionally abusing me, I learned that I could not trust anyone. This has followed me into my adult life and because of this, I have very few people that I would consider a friend. I just do not make friends easily and as such I find it hard to trust what peoples intentions are. This is because of the trust that I put in people who were supposed to protect me growing up ad they did not. You may think it is something to get over, but when you have lost trust in people you should not have lost trust in then it becomes very much so, a part of who you are. It informs your developing mind and makes it harder for you to trust anyone.

Anger for me is a very difficult one to deal with. I find that due to my history there are certain situations that bring real anger out of me. On a night out some guys tried to pull a friend down a dark alley and I nearly got myself arrested with my angry outburst. This is not something that is easy to fix. This is, especially in my situation where I still have to live with the people who caused a lot of problems for me growing up almost an impossible task. Honestly, though it is not the anger over what they did and allowed to happen to me that gets me angry anymore, it is the fact that I am stuck now due to people being unable and unwilling to help me.

Now finally onto the Abuse. NO ABUSE IS ACCEPTABLE. We, however, as a society, need to find a way to help people in a seriously complex situation out. There are people like me out there who cant access help because their situations are so complex that it does not fit into any one category. For people like me the only way out if to get help from someone and when no one is willing to listen or help, you feel alone and remain once again STUCK! Many survivors of abuse play it’s my fault game but how can a 6-year-old, being forced to learn what a 69ner is really been at fault? This has rocked my faith, my self-confidence, every relationship I have ever had and now when I am finally able to say I need help the authorities are putting me in a situation where I can’t get help because I am unable to report it for fear of both myself and someone else….

I am hoping someone out there with me being open and honest about my story will help me. Please see my Gofundme page entitled help me survive.  https://t.co/27kabyJJdN

The money is going to be used in the following ways:

  1. clear off all debts so that I can start off clean
  2. find somewhere to live that is suitable for my needs as well as financially viable
  3. Pay a few months in advance so if needed I can get benefits
  4. Change my name so my abusers will no longer be able to find me and I can cut ties with them completely.
  5. kit out my new place with the things I need to heal and grow stronger in myself.

If you can help me please please donate or even share with others.. I need help and no one is able to help me.

Abuse

There needs to be more support for people who have more complicated situations of abuse that they can not do anything about. It is very difficult when you know you need support and help and yet no one will help you unless you do the one thing that you are unable to do. This is the situation that I am currently in at the moment. The only thing that I am able to do is do what I can to mitigate the situation that I am in.

First day of work after a break up

Well today is going to be my first day of work since my ex and I broke up. I wonder how I will cope?

I have been told that I will be gettings some hugs today which is awesome but honestly as long as I am not bombarded with questions as to how I am feeling I am hoping that i will be fine.

I kept, on thursday, being bombarded with how am I holding up and honestly it was draining. I was putting on a brave face but it just got too much which lead to some tears. Lets see how today goes? Just focussing on the fact that Thursday and Friday this week I am on annual leave so I will be able to just sleep till I wake up 🙂