I made a post earlier (a while ago) where I discussed my issues over gender identity. This was a big step for me. It is not something that I am used to being open about. I took it one step forward this week, I spoke to a colleague about it and she informed me that it is in line with the label “gender fluid”.
The definition of Gender Fluid is “denoting or relating to a person who does not identify themselves as having a fixed gender”. This is generally how I feel on a day to day basis. The idea for me is that even though I was born a female I don’t always feel like it. Until my last relationship where I was “forbidden” from buying men’s clothes, I had both men’s clothes and women’s clothes in my wardrobe. When I had to go to work I would go out in what I was expected to be seen in but when I was at home it was a toss-up between men and women’s clothes. I would go with whatever felt comfortable with at the time.
Because I was unable to wear the clothes I wanted to all the time, I started displaying some more masculine traits during my last relationship. If someone did something that offended me I would be more of a brawler and acted more like a man would, especially when it came to protecting female friends. Although, this gave me the image that I was not a feminine woman which was a turn off to men, which whilst I was in a relationship was not a worry but now I am single again, is a concern.
However, I was the other day called a very feminine woman, the reason behind it was I crossed my ankles at a meeting. It was such a surprise to the person who saw it that they felt they had to say something. I do not know how to feel about it really.
I do have one thing to say, even if I am gender fluid, it is still me. I am still the same person who I was 10-20 years ago however, I just don’t identify one way or another. I, do, however, respect the gender that I was born into and the struggles that the gender I went through to get the rights that they have now.